Personal Growth

Don’t Misunderstand the Purpose of Walls

“You need to tear down your walls,” she said. A well-meaning friend who recently experienced liberation and the reconciliation of a relationship was now attributing world-wide miracles to the capability of dismantling both physical and emotional boundaries.

“I’m happy for you and I understand your desire to have everyone take part in your experience. But I’m ok. My walls provide a different kind of freedom.”

Walls are rarely built only for decorative purposes. Instead they are intentional devices used to maintain harmony and balance between things that are both outside the walls that want to enter, and the sacred, tender spaces we nurture within the walls.

Significant emotional events in life are what form this bedrock of our existence. Each memory, interaction, and the rewards or consequences for our behavior are what help create each and every block that builds our walls. They are a part of us and their duty is to watch over and protect our fragility.

To simply tear down those walls would be damaging. They are a part of our character, the iron that sharpened our resolve, the record of our scars from battles fought, and the reminder that we have a right to decide who and what we let into our most intimate space. Our walls are part of us, and part of our story.

For those who have never put in the effort to establish walls, they are left without boundaries to protect their inner-sanctum. For those without that protective barrier, they will often find themselves engaging in battles they were never meant to fight with people who crossed a line, people who should have been stopped by a wall.

Leave your walls intact. They have a higher purpose, but it’s not so you can stay idle behind them. That would have you believe you are isolated and alone. When people feel isolated, it’s often because we have allowed fear to stop us from reaching out and grabbing hold of something new. Idleness in isolation is not the purpose of walls. That type of mentality is what will end up destroying you, which is why some people have the knee-jerk reaction of proclaiming that all walls need to be dismantled. However, when walls are considered with the Light of divine guidance and the fact that all things work together for good, we see their true purpose.

Walls are built so we can learn how to climb. Without them, we would not be able to lift ourselves off the ground. Without them, we cannot build on to our story. As we begin to climb, we gain strength, insight, wisdom, and new perspectives we wouldn’t be able to find any other way.

So, how do you climb your walls? It’s all about deliberate, intentional action. You must:

  1. Know Yourself. You have to see your past clearly before you will understand what you need to move forward. Respect the walls and honor who you were at your darkest hour knowing you did the best you could. Evaluate where you’ve been, where you are, and what’s been lost. Take time to first identify, and then grieve for and affirm the value of that which was taken from you in the past. This honors and gives value to your innocence, your childhood, your purity, your safety, your need for someone to care for and protect you unconditionally, and your desire to just be loved for who you were created to be – with all the beautiful flaws that make you uniquely you.As you learn more about who you were created to be, identify and confirm the core values on which you stand and from which you will not waver. Reflect on areas where there is room for growth in your life. Discover your gifts, your talents, your purpose, and the passion still burning in your heart. These answers are what will guide you as you continue to climb and build your story.
  2. Grow Yourself – Circumstances can change without personal growth as a reactive measure, but by being intentional about it, you can proactively bring about the changes you need. Cultivate an environment guided by a growth plan – spiritually, personally, and professionally. It should include setting time aside for your faith, as well as yourself, for self-care, and for gaining knowledge by reading, attending seminars and conferences, joining online communities that post blogs and articles of others who have succeeded in the areas you desire to grow. Look forward to change and new opportunities entering your life, and believe you are capable and worthy of all things good.As you grow, know that everything you need is within you, you may just need to remove some of your clutter – like fear, unforgiveness, bitterness, envy, anger, pride, and other obstacles – they have no value to you and only block your light, energy, talents, gifts, purpose, and passions from shining through.
  3. Show Yourself – What value is anything if it is not used? Your story gains value by telling it. Show your scars, your vulnerabilities, and your “lessons learned.” Be intentional about becoming a light for others as you Radiate with newfound purpose. You can only be loved to the extent that you are known. Climb your walls, and then use them as a new foundation to step out and be seen for who you are and share the incredible gifts you have to offer the world.

As you get to know yourself, grow yourself, and show yourself to those who need your light, each intentional action not only provides healing from the past, but also provides perspective from which you are able to see more clearly and farther than ever before. With these new vantage points, you will recognize others on similar journeys and can cultivate new connections that help you climb higher still.

In taking this journey, your walls aren’t just walls anymore. Now they are the elevated foundation upon which you find your freedom. As you climb beyond the limitations of your past, you realize it’s not just about success – an accomplishment you do alone – but about significance, an achievement far greater that changes lives as you show others that they too can climb.

Don't misunderstand the purpose of walls

Spiritual Truth

Whispers of God

I love the whispers of God. Especially when He repeats Himself so clearly that I know without a doubt He is intimately involved in my life.

Last week I worked on some videos for my upcoming training on Intentional Living, and so before hand, I’m ‘pumping myself up’ to show energy and to convey a specific type of vibe. According to previous coaching and training for speaking, my preparation included a mantra I would mentally repeat to help me compensate for areas where I felt weak. “I’m confident and I have infinite value. I’m beautiful just as God made me and people are drawn to me…” Those phrases then got reduced down to a 3-word chant of “I’m Confident, Worthy, Appealing. I’m Confident, Worthy, Appealing…”

Then, before hitting the record button, something stopped me in my tracks. I felt compelled to ask, “God, that is what others have told me I need to convey as I speak, but what do You want me to convey?”

Instantly, the word ‘humility’ was whispered to me. Hmm, I know that Word wasn’t from me because my human nature does not first go to humility. However, I knew that was a much better approach and that it was time to release my previous mantra.

Because I had three traits before, I wondered if there were two more traits to add. So I asked again, “Lord, what else would you have me convey?”

“Truth,” is what He whispered next. I smiled with confidence, knowing this was God, because truth, along with unwavering faith, is my whole foundation for living.

“Is there a third?” I asked.

“My gift of Love,” He whispered. I know without a doubt that His infinite Love covers everything.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

I went on to complete my videos – with a heart full of humility, truth, and love – and I felt great about the task I had completed for the day. It was late and I wanted to go straight to bed because doing videos wears me flat out. However, the Bible next to my bed was drawing me in.

I knelt down and my hands were guided to Psalm 45. Then God’s whisper and intimate love covered me like a warm, glowing blanket as He confirmed His words from earlier in the day.

“And in Your majesty ride prosperously because of truth, humility, and righteousness; And Your right hand shall teach You awesome things.” (Psalm 45:4)

I read those words and wept beside my bed. These were tears of overwhelming joy at knowing my heavenly Father cares about me so intimately that we can have these precious moments together – just He and me – where I can feel him close, speaking to my heart.

Most importantly, I have learned to be able to recognize his voice as words and thoughts impressed upon my heart. These are words I must steward well.

So, my new mantra for living is to do everything with humility, truth, and love. After all, we are cloaked in His righteousness, which is His ultimate love on display in our lives.

As I face challenge after challenge this week, this new mantra has proven to be an amazing game-plan for my life.

If you need a new focus for how to go about your day, or are unsure about how to handle a challenge you are facing, may I suggest you give this mantra a try: Today, I will display humility, truth, and love. This is a great way to walk in the character and power of Jesus Christ. I promise he won’t steer you in the wrong direction.

Because where he is taking you, is far better than where you’ve been.

May God and His grace help us all to live out each and every day with an abundance of humility, truth, and love.

8 2016 truth, humility and righteousness


Truth #4 – Release the Need to Please

In trying to please everyone, you miss the opportunity to fully serve those you love most in the way God intends. The need to please is related to the “performance mind-set” where you are constantly on task to earn approval, praise, and acceptance from others to fill a void that only gets deeper as time goes on.

The sad thing is, so many people look to others for their significance, and completely miss what’s been inside them all along.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to remember this: “You can’t please everyone – you’re not pizza!”

Truth 4 - CoDependency - we were not meant to please everyone - only THE one - #Anxiety


Truth #3 – Perfectionism is a fear that you are not good enough

Perfectionism: One of the Top 5 traits that perpetuates #Anxiety. It’s a frustrating journey, because one never reaches the end of the pursuit if the desired result is perfectionism. If you feel like you are striving day in and day out yet getting nowhere – take a step back and work on discovering why.

To hold on to something, or avoid building relationships, or keeping yourself isolated until you feel you and/or everything else is “perfectly presentable,” then you are waiting too long. Perfectionism is also a form of procrastination that eats away at our efforts, time, resources, and impact. People perceived to be perfect are not relatable or approachable, nor do they have the influence they imagine.

Truth, authenticity, vulnerability, and approachability – the scariest things in life for those like us who often find ourselves ridden with anxiety – are the very things that help us overcome the anxiety that comes with perfectionism to find victory.

Truth 3 - Perfectionism - fear that you aren't good enough


Daily Battles and Anxious Thoughts

Many of our daily battles bring anxious thoughts when we lower our gaze and focus on how imperfect people are impacting our lives. This can cause us to slip, fall, and retreat from what God has called us to do.

Let that be your ‘red flag’ to look up and claim God’s promise of His unfailing love, even when others have failed us. Look up, and claim the promise of His comfort and abundant love, and let that be your focus instead, so you can rise ABOVE your circumstances and allow Him to exchange your anxiety for JOY.